Breaking the Mold: I'm A Pastor
Authenticity, Self-Care, Inclusion, and other things I want you to know about me as a pastor.
We’ve all had those small talk, introductory conversations. You meet someone new, and after exchanging names and pleasantries, you can almost predict the next question:
“What do you do for a living?” or “Where do you work?”
For those who bear the role and title of “Pastor” (as I do), this question can be fraught with anxiety. The answer isn’t always easy. Several years ago, I came across a video that humorously illustrates the awkwardness that some pastors feel when faced with this question.
Now, humor aside, I am sure as you can imagine, answering this question can be complicated. People approach the idea of a pastor or someone in church ministry with preconceived ideas, often clouded by negative perceptions. I don’t blame anyone for doing this, in fact it seems quite common. Tell me your a teacher and there are assumptions that could be made. Doctor, lawyer, nurse, athlete, any number of vocations, and we could make assumptions. However, you know what happens when we assume…
I know many pastors, especially in this situation, have a difficult time answering this question without feeling judged or having the regular responses scroll through their minds. This feels especially true considering the past behavior of some churches or leaders. The church has often been seen as out of touch with genuine goodness and grace in society, and in the wake of this, pastors may feel reluctant to openly claim their vocation.
The Uncomfortable Reaction
That said, the uncomfortable reaction is something I often seek. I know, that might sound odd, but let me explain. The uncomfortable reaction is ok, because I want to dispel what you think a pastor should be. When you picture a pastor, I’m sure many of you envision a white male in a suit standing at a pulpit. That might be a challenging image for me to dispel since I am, in fact, a white male. However, I do not strive to fit the mold of what many envision as the “traditional white male pastor.”
I’m not here to convert you, nor am I here to shame you for anything. You can curse, drink, or live how you choose around me—just know that I will do the same, with respect and kindness. So, no, I’m not the traditional pastor you might expect. I love God, and I’m not here to guilt or punish anyone into belief. Nor is it my job to play judge over your life, determining whether God loves you.
SPOILER ALERT: God does love you, ALWAYS!
With that in mind, I want to share five things about me as a pastor that might not be what you expect about a pastor. Some of these aspects may be unfamiliar or even challenging, but I hope that, whether you agree with me or not, you will understand my authentic desire to be in community with ALL people as we work together toward a more wholesome and compassionate world.
1. Rooted in Authenticity, Not Perfection
The first thing I want to share is this: my pastoral identity, as you might have been able to gather so far, is rooted in authenticity, not perfection. I believe my role as a pastor is to walk alongside others in faith and life more broadly, not to stand above them with all the answers. I’m not a flawless figure—I’m on a journey, just like everyone else. The reality is, I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t expect anyone else to either. The Christian journey is about growth and transformation, not arriving at some idealized state of perfection.
On my part, when I have had questions, I have sought answers. And I have had A LOT of questions over the course of my life. While not perfect, I do consider myself on the journey to perfection in God’s love. This has led me to recognize that I am who I am and that if I can be authentic then I can help others realize that God loves them as their true and authentic selves.
In the United Methodist tradition, we believe in and idea called, sanctification—a process through which God’s grace helps us grow toward Christian perfection. Again I say, I’m not perfect, and I don’t expect others to be either. I want to foster an environment where we all can grow and question together. Faith is a journey, not a destination, and I aim to walk that journey with you—not as someone who has it all figured out, but as someone who is genuinely learning and growing in my own faith.
2. Running Is a Key Part of My Identity
This obiviously is not a surprise to many of you—after all, my nickname is “The RunninRev.” If you know me, you know that running is more than just a hobby—it’s an integral part of who I am. It’s a spiritual discipline, as much as it is a physical one, and an integral part of my faith and self-care lifestyle. This is why I see running as more than just a physical activity; it’s a means to care for my mind, body, and spirit.
I’m sure many of you have seen older generations of pastors or leaders who dedicate themselves wholly to their work. While I respect the dedication of those who came before me, I believe there’s a different way to serve. For me, maintaining an active lifestyle and prioritizing my health enables me to better serve my congregation and community.
Running is part of my self-care routine, and as a pastor, I see the importance of this practice. It helps me stay physically and mentally healthy, allowing me to give my best to the work I do. I don’t want to be the kind of pastor who works myself into exhaustion. Instead, I strive to lead by example, showing that caring for ourselves—mind, body, and soul—is essential for being able to care for others.
3. Advocate for Self-Care and Wellness
This leads me to my next point: self-care as central to my life as a pastor—and really as a human. After all, how can I guide others in their faith if I’m not tending to my own well-being? Especially after the demands of the pandemic, I realized just how crucial it is for me, as a pastor, to practice self-care, and even why that should extend to all of us.
During the pandemic, I found myself doing everything—pastoral care, worship planning, recording and editing sermons, you name it. It was overwhelming much of the time, and burnout was clearly all but inevitable. Since then, I’ve made self-care a top priority of my ministry, knowing that in balancing it’s practice with my vocation, I can better serve. I emphasize wellness not only for myself but for those I serve. As a leader, my approach to self-care can directly influence how others view it and incorporate it into their own lives. If I neglect my health, how can I encourage others to take care of themselves?
For full disclosure, I’m an Enneagram 3. For those unfamiliar, Enneagram 3s are often described as achievers and workaholics, which means I tend to take on too much. I’m prone to overworking myself in an effort to accomplish all the things. But I’ve learned through experience that taking time to rest, recharge, and care for myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. I’ve experienced burnout in my ministry, and I’m committed to not letting that happen again. Taking care of myself is key to taking care of my congregation and community. Again, as I mentioned in point 1, I’m not perfect, but I am authentic.
4. Faith in the Context of Modern Issues
As a pastor, I don’t shy away from addressing modern issues and how they intersect with faith. Whether it’s politics, justice, or even technology, I believe the church must remain relevant. To do otherwise would mean erasing God’s presence from the world. The world is always changing rapidly, and the church, in certain ways, must evolve alongside it. I often invite these conversations into my ministry. I believe that faith should speak to the challenges of our time, and help us grow together.
I actively seek out conversations about how faith intersects with contemporary issues. I listen to those who have lived experiences, especially those from marginalized communities, to understand how faith can help navigate modern-day challenges, and where both the church and society in general can be better. I see my pastoral role as an opportunity to help people engage with faith in a way that’s not confined to tradition but speaks to the world we live in today. God’s Word isn’t static; it’s alive and dynamic, calling us to move away from the idol of tradition and toward a living, breathing faith.
5. Progressive and Inclusive Approach to Faith
Lastly, I name how over the years, my understanding of faith and belief has evolved. In a manner that very often diverges from many of the more vocal voices in the church, I approach theology from a progressive, inclusive perspective. This doesn’t mean I have all the answers, nor does it mean I exclude anyone with different beliefs. It simply means that I believe God’s grace is abundant and far-reaching, this is my understanding and experience of God that I have developed.
My progressive foundation rests on the idea that God’s grace is for everyone, regardless of their background or belief system. I’ve wrestled with many theological concepts that seemed restrictive, but I continue to find joy in embracing the diversity of God’s creation. Faith, to me, isn’t about drawing lines between “us” and “them.” It’s about breaking down those lines, inviting conversation, and creating space for all people to be part of the journey.
While this view may isolate me from some who hold more traditional or conservative beliefs, my mission as a pastor remains the same: to love, welcome, and serve all people, just as Christ did. I believe that God’s message of love can heal the wounds that religion has sometimes inflicted on people. I’m committed to creating a church that embraces everyone, regardless of their past or their beliefs.
Conclusion: A Pastor for All—I Hope
I hope these insights give you a clearer picture of who I am as a pastor. Yes, I am a pastor in a tradition that has caused harm to many. Yes, I am different from what you may have expected. Yes, my beliefs may not always align with yours. At the heart of it all is an unwavering commitment to live out my faith in a way that is authentic, loving, and inclusive.
You won’t find me on the street preaching hellfire and brimstone. Instead, you’ll find me loving and caring for those who need it most. If you ever find yourself struggling because of my title or what you think a pastor should be, please reach out. I am not here to convert you—I’m here to love you with the same love that God has already given you. Maybe you’ll see it one day, maybe you won’t, but I will continue to do what I’ve been called to do.
Make Every Mile Count!